New York

Having lived in New York my entire life I often wonder what tourists find so interesting in the grey jungle known as the big apple. People are constantly trying to scam tourists with 'gold' watches, or 'hot' deal, and yet tourist seem to enjoy every ounce of the trash people scheme. I mean, what's so interesting about staring up at a tall building? I just don't get it...

I've been to the empire state building when I was little, and also to the statue of liberty and what not. However, none of it was ever very significant to me. Their are only a few places that I can stay at for hours in the city, and my favorite one would be 42nd street's toys R us. The reason I can stay there for hours is because of the rather well kept DDR machines they possess and my love for pressing buttons. I don't know why but when I see a toy possessing lots of buttons I just have to press them all... I'm the girl you keep the 'red button' away from.

Outside of DDR at toys r us, my heart would go to the Elevated acre in downtown manhattan. Its a beautiful peaceful grassy area located 2 stories above the ground filled with trees, grass, and benches. Its never over populated and its always perfectly clean, to me the ElEvated acre is a must see. However to tourists, its too much like home I suppose.

Todays words of the wise: We always want what we don't have.

Older Brother, school, and poem

So, my brother has always had a way with words- his words being the most cruel and striking by far. Although he is normally a lot less dramatic when he chooses to pick a fight with me today he was very over the top. His topic this time was school and how I am destined to fail. I know, amazing big brother, right?

For about 30 minutes he told me how school is pretty pointless because I'm destined to be mediocre because that's just the way I am. I want to be a lawyer, and he said I could be one, but it wouldn't matter because I'd still just be average. Average, I hate that word i hate the idea of being nothing more than outside of the ordinary. I have always strived to be above average intellectually, but perhaps I'm destined to just be apart of the masses. That however wasn't the worst of what he said...

As of current I work as a cashier in Pathmark, he said I might as well keep that position. That is my biggest fear. So after an hour of crying my eyes out I decided to ignore him and write this lovely blog. Whilst writing this I feel a need to stress I will not give up in school. I will graduate, and then go to Law school, and I will not be an average face. School is important even if its just to enable your dreams to come true.

On a completely different note, I wrote a poem that is suppose to be read as a conversation and I'd love to know what you guys think of it.

There's nothing quite so pure as the written word my dear,

so lets have ourselves a little poem.

Because the words we mean cannot be spoken,

the truth and lies become convoluted in the middle ground.

You'll raise that glass to your lips and drink my memory away.

As we yearn to fill ourselves with empty calorie conversations.

But we'll do no such thing, and allow ourselves to drift apart.

We used to speak for something, but now we just recycle our lives.

Saving up for another in hopes to fill a never-ending void?

What have we become just a glorified memory for the heart?

No, your memory is painted black with hopes of forgetting.

I suppose that's ok, yours is ripped to shred.

It's only in person do I realize the truth, I suppose unrequited love does that.

I wish I could have loved you, maybe one day I will.

One day will never come because I'll paint you black as you have me.

I'll delete your existence from my memory. Goodbye.

Farewell. To think these were the last words said.

Long Distance Relationships and Boredom

Hey guys, so I know I haven't been very personal on these blogs and I never really talked much about my personal life. Well, awhile ago I started dating a guy younger than me named... Well, his name isn't important. Just know, that he's a great guy and I think that if I believed in love then this would be it. Don't mistake me for a hopeless romantic, he's not my first 'love', and I'm not changing my subscription that 'love' is something Hollywood created.

But I digress, I haven't seen this lovely guy in about 3 weeks because he has moved to Ohio. I don't believe long distance relationships can work, and even though we have been dating 3 months prior to him moving I feel as if distance and time will be the end of this connection. He'll be going to school in New York which is good, but I can't help but feel when Winter break comes not seeing him for 2 months will be the end of this.

I know I'm probably being overdramatic, and I know people have definitely made worse situations work... but I don't like it. His mother loves me though. That's a major benefit from the last relationships. She's threatened me that if I don't come visit her she'll drag my sorry butt to Ohio and never let me leave. But, I have a job and school at no point can I just take off and visit Ohio. Although I do believe my schedule permits for me to go galavanting.

After all, I only have classes on tuesday and thursday meaning I have a 4 day weekend every week. Pretty spectacular no? So I'll try my best to make all of this work but, with the summer boredom kicking in I just feel extremely bitter for him being in Ohio.

Words of the wise: Everyone is childish, so don't bother fighting against it-- because that would be childish.

Driving

Hello everyone out in internet land! So I don't believe I ever touched on one of my biggest fears-driving. Living in New York I always found everything pretty accessible through public transportations, but when I started meeting up with my friend Mathew constantly and the lovely mugging happened in BROAD DAYLIGHT, I found myself taking cabs. Now, each cab cost $16 going to his house and another $16 coming back. Such a large portion of my paycheck became cab fairs that I started thinking its about time I get over my fear.

So about a week ago I signed up for driving lessons... I was petrified. I never drove a car before, my parents didn't drive nor did my brother so this experience was a very new one for me. Sitting in the car I felt my heart beat pounding against my ribcage. "Signal left and turn out" the instructor said. I laughed dryly, I didn't even know which was the break let alone WHERE the signal was. As time ticked by I learned what little I could and soon I was rolling down the street in a whopping 10 MPH. The gas pedal scares me. So today is my third lesson, and hopefully my right and left turns wont suck. I don't know how many times I've felt like crying but waaay to constant that's for sure.

Wish me luck guys and for todays words know: Bravery is not having no fear, bravery is accepting you have fear and overcoming it.

Online course

So, as I told you last week I decided that I would be taking an online course so I can have a total of 16 credits. Well, I have chosen my online course to be- Statistics! I guess a little background information is needed in order to convey my opinions on Mathematics. I haven't taken a math course since Junior year of high school, and that math course was Pre-calculous which I barely attended. I have always leaned more towards english then Math because I find math to be too finite. I mean, I can manipulate a mathematical answer. The answer is either right of wrong no real partial credit there.

My brother, however, is an electrical engineer and a genius in mathematics! He has always used me to check his english papers and reports, and the boasted on solving a mathematical problem that take on average 3 sheets of paper. "You derive the from and " is all I ever really hear when he goes on his "I'm a mathematical genius" rants. HOWEVER, I admit my mathematical skills are...Lacking, and since it will be an online course perhaps I can do the work while my brother is there so he can explain everything in-depth. After all he took statistics and such in High School... I chose AP English and AP history instead.

Todays words of the wise: Play nice with smart folk, they're an amazing asset.

Online courses- "Road to success"

So, as I posted in my last blog I decided that since I have a 3 hour break in between my classes I would take an online course so I would have a total of 16 credits instead of just 12. However, before I can take an online course I had to pass the non-credit class 'Road to Success'. When I found this out I quickly decided to have administration register me for the class so I can take it now.

When I started the course work I noticed that their are only four assignments I must complete in order to be able to take the class. Two writing assignments, one discussion board post, and a 50 question test. So last night I decided I could most definitely dissolve this course-load and began at my work.

The firs assignment asked what I thought the benefits of Online classes were. For that I wrote the following:

Online learning has become progressively more popular as the years go by because students recognize the major benefits of utilizing online courses. Instead of spending an extra $4.50 in traveling expenses, and even more on wasted time many students are choosing to simply log on to their computers when it’s convenient for them.

The flexibility of when and where you must be, allows the student to be free from the normal constraints of schooling. With online courses you are able to access your course work from any location with an Internet connection. So if you’re an intense traveler you don’t need to sacrifice your education. Furthermore it forces you, the student, to accept responsibility. As an online student it is up to you to make the time to and schedule in order to do your work in a timely manner.

Another benefit towards online education is the convenient time schedules you can set up for yourself. The fact that your class is not set at any specific time and you can gain access to course material whenever you so choose is a great benefit towards the student. I myself find myself leaning towards Online Education because I have a 3-hour time slot in my current schedule, which I could fill with online course work.

Although there are many benefits to online education I find that Flexibility and Convenience are the most important. I find this to be true because they are the reason I have decided to so avidly undertake this very course, they are in turn the reason I am typing these words, which you are reading. The ability to choose when and where I can do my work seems, to me, to be a very valuable asset.

The other assignment was about using the library tab which was a short and sweet essay comparing it to google. The 50 questioned test was VERY simple because the answer was true for everything except on question. Lastly I had to post on the discussion board why I think online courses are best for me.

The entire course work took me an hour to complete so I suggest everyone take the "Road to Success" course. After all, if you ever want to set your schedule up so you only have to go to class two days a week its very beneficial.

Today's words of the wise: Everyone is a little neurotic sometimes, as long as you can recognize your neuroticism you can overcome your doubts.